leaving the circus

For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ (2 Cor. 2:17).

For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends (2 Cor. 10:18).

I mentioned previously that the godlylife.com site was down, and that I had to decide what I planned to do with said site. In the time since its going down and today, I've done a lot of thinking. Here's where I'm at.

I'm tired of the circus of evangelical ministries. As if it were not enough for us to have formed 30,000 denominations of Protestantism, we also have an inumerable number of "Spirit-anointed" ministries, each believing its existence is necessary if the 21st century church is really going to make it. We've got ministries to bring revival, keep revival, teach you how to attract teens, teach you how to attract rich people to your church (not a joke), teach you how to combat postmodernism, or teach you that you need to embrace postmodernism. We've got Christian weight loss programs, apologetics ministries, and plenty of nuts who will take you on a retreat for a weekend to cast demons out of you. On and on it goes, ad nauseum. And the funny thing is, each ministry claims to be specially anointed of God. Each one says some silly thing like, "We believe we've created a ministry that God can use to [insert purpose of ministry]. Blah. I've had it.

Then there's the pastors and the young (and old) know-it-alls. I know a lot about these guys, 'cause I used to be one (and am currently trying hard not to be). These are the guys who honestly believe they are the next hot thing - God's gift to help the church make it through our current times. The church is struggling, but as soon as I get out there and preach, I'll be able (um...I mean God will be able) to bring us all back together, eliminate the heretics, gather the faithful in ecstatic revival, destroy the left wingers from the land, and even ensure that the pot luck dinners are filled up in plenty with good food each Sunday. Aunt Mabel will have repented of that funky smelling peas and beans casserole.

All the while, we are simply mimicking the American market system, selling ourselves to the evangelical world, as though they have a need that only our product (I mean ministry) can fill.

In days gone by, great pastors like Chrysostom, Augustine, and Calvin did not want to promote themselves to their pastoral roles. They had no ambitions to do such things. They wanted to quietly study the Word and write theology. What happened? The church recognized their incredible gifts and made them become pastors.

You see the difference? In our day, as soon as some young hotshot feels "called," he makes sure everyone around him knows it. Then everyone around him, not wanting to "limit God," immediately affirms the young lad and sends him on his way to evangelical stardom. And so another prideful pastor or another parachurch ministry is born.

Well, I don't want to be another one. I don't want to be a great preacher. I don't want to save evangelicalism from its circus-like state. I don't want to be a ringleader in the midst of this nonsense. I want to live a peaceful and quiet life with my wife. I want to become very active in a local church here in my community, teach and preach, worship and love, and write hard. If people hear my preaching or read my writing (I'm not abandoning my plans to write and get published) and want me to come speak (in other words, if THEY recognize some gift in me and want me to come), I'll gladly accept such offers. But I'm done promoting myself. I'm done commending myself as the next great revival preacher or any other such balderdash (great word, isn't it?). Let God, entirely by His grace, commend me where and when He chooses, if at all. I'm going to do my best to quietly, humbly, and joyfully serve.

So it's highly unlikely that the godlylife.com site will return. I may replace it with a personal homepage over time, or I may just stick with this blog. For now, if you want to read what I write, keep coming here. But you don't have to. I'm not trying to impress anyone.